I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
