Your dad touched me again.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
