Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
