I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
