I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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