Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
