Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
