Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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