I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
zippers are such a cool invention
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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