All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
