Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
