so that wasnt chicken after all
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
NoShamevember. You game?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
