the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
