I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
that's an acceptable place to lick
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
