this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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