So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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