i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
