i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
