To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
