She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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