It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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