you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
