Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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