let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
