I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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