Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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