billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
