the day after is always just damage control
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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