Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
