The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
