shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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