she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is it penis luge time yet?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Your cock deserves a montage
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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