Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
