spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
