well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
