we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
