So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
