Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
