Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
