weddingsv make me drug and hornr
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
