You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
