Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
