listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
