You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
