She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
