I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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