I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
