I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
