Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
