john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This baby is an asshole
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
