she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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