I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
