help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
