I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
another moral hangover. fuck.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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