she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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