It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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