I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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